West Ham 2 Man U 3
Spectators to this game were promised a treat, and the action didn’t disappoint.
The game had barely begun when West Ham striker Janet Cole opened the scoring by arriving in a new Ferrari.
Man Utd responded by criticizing Janet’s hairstyle, but all of the shots were easily deflected. It took until the 43rd minute before the visitors were able to level the score when Hammer’s defender Bekky Upson seemed to forget where she was and queued up at the bar to order a drink. Maria Hernandez swept past her to the head of the queue to make it one-all just before the WAGs went in for their half time orange liqueur.
West Ham regained the lead at the re-start when Nikki Boa-Morte emerged from the changing room in an exclusive off the shoulder Coco Channal number, and they could have sealed the game a few minutes later when Betty Swallocks should of scored when she asked the linesman for a coke. Unfortunately the linesman Mr Jimbo Gunn was distracted by Danni Berbatov’s clevage and served up a vegetable based fizzy drink.
Betty Swallocks was substituted in the 60th minute having suffered a bruised ego after being tackled by Man Utd hard-woman Kylie Valencia over the number of rooms in her house. After that West Ham began to lose their shape and 10 minutes later Debbie Fletcher equalised with a cheap shot about Vikki Gabbidon’s shoes that went in off the post.
Things quietened down after that and it remained even right up to the final minute, both sides seemingly happy to wave their jewellery at each other from within their own territory. But when a Fleet Street photographer walked in during the last minute of injury time, Coleen Rooney was the first to react- running the full length of the bar to allow the photographer to shoot.
West Ham will be disappointed with the result having hoped to earn a replay at Harvey Nichols.
Manchester United for their part will now have to sharpen up their image before they meet Arsenal in the semi-finals.