The movers and shakers

After Burnleys loss to Liverpool we can finally once and for all look forward to the summer/World Cup and 2010/11 season. But who will stay and who will go?

Zola and Clarke

Inexperience has shown this season and clearly Zola has no plan B when called upon. Made strange substitutions, continually messed around with the squad, said stupid things to the press, hates the new owners and touted for other jobs in Italy.
I would be very surprised if he stays and if he wants to will the owners want him? But what is Clarkes excuse? He even started distancing himself from Zola when the shit really hit the fan! and is rumoured to take Zola’s job!? I fucking hope not. If the club finds new investors in Dubai the first investment will be to pay off Zola and Clarkes contracts.

Robert Green

I think we can say goodbye to Green. Been lots of hints all season about him and he has had a mare to the extent it might cost him his number 1 spot for England. If we can cash in and get maybe 5-6million I will be a happy bunny.

Kieron Dyer

Been injured all season and I believe his contract is up so he will be off. Will save us a small fortune in wages from now on Free but massive savings on wages

Scott Parker

GOT TO STAY! Has been the titanium bone in a back made of shite. The club will get offers but I can only see them letting him go for crazy money. 10million + to see him go

Ilan

Has scored vital goals and is a great good old English goal hanging striker. I’d give him a contract BUT I suspect he might get other offers and will be free to listen to them. Keep but might go anyway

Franco

Gobby, gritty, passionate and sometimes scores. I’ve heard people had to take pay cuts to pay his wages so I suspect he will be off but not forgotten. Off I suspect

Mido

So he did in fact prove something. Yes he is fat, passed it, cant score and on a one way ticket out the club. TAXI!

Carlton Cole

Cost us 1 million quid I believe? So we’ve had our monies worth that’s for sure. It was confirmed he had in fact turned down a couple of offers from Le Arse and the yids in January but I cant see him turning another offer down in the summer. He will be off for serious money I’m afraid

LBM

Injured all season and contract ends. Bye

Kovac

Will stay and play a part next season, but hopefully the club will have a massive overhaul in the summer and then I can see him becoming a bench warmer. A keeper but maybe a fringe player next season

Upson

Has had an awful season and non Hammers are even saying he should not be going to the World Cup on this seasons performance. They have a point because on currant form we can kiss the WC goodbye if he starts and this is coming from a Hammer! Wants out and so he shall but lets hope his value hasn’t decreased after this season!

Noble

Another one who has had a stinker this season. BUT came on strong in the last quarter when needed, he’s a true hammer and will still be around next season. Could be a bench warmer next season

Benni

I just don’t know about Benni. Ok he is clearly unfit after his injury but have we got the Benni that’s had his best days? Juries out and all will be revealed next season

Spector

This guy must have the most secure job in American squad because he hasn’t done himself any favours. Bloody awful and yet keeps a Daprela (who I rate) out the squad! Go figure…. Will still be around filling in gaps when needed

Faubert

Got to be in the top 3 Hammer at the end of the season. Come on leaps and bounds after his bench warming in Spain and we needs to stay YEAH I SAID IT! Probably off to France I suspect

Behrami

Was the engine of the squad but seems to have blown a gasket since his injury. If someone offers silly money I say get rid pronto! Off to Italy

Da Costa

Been our best defender since Zola finally realised Tomkins is shite. Even put Upson to shame this season. The dark version of Collins KEEP!

Ilunga

Whats up with him!? Once he got his contract sorted he decided to stop playing, the guy has mugged us off and we should listen to offers.
Off I hope!

Diamanti

Finally a player that can take a mean freekick and penalties but either Zola doesn’t rate him or there has been fistycuffs in the dressing room.
If Zola stays Diamanti will be off I reckon! 50/50

Tomkins
Had some inspirational performances but then plays like a kid in a park! If you have it you have it and I suspect he probably isn’t Premier league material but would make a great Championship player.

Sears
Just doesn’t have what it takes. He will be off in the summer.

Collison
Had a bad season for his standards, but with injuries and his dad dying we need to see what he can do next season.

Daprela
He needs to be our regular LB and I cant see how Zola doesn’t see it! Spector over him!?

Hines
Had flashes of brilliance but you can see the club seriously concentrating on new strikers in the summer so he wont play much. He will be loaned out or maybe sold.

Stanislas
His saving grace will be his flexibility. He can play in a few positions so will be a great sub to have but wont become a regular next season.