Believe the stats West Ham

A transfer is based on a lot of things but I’m almost certain one thing isn’t even considered when bringing a player to a club.

His stats and yet they are rarely wrong.

When Sakho arrived he averaged 15 – 20 goals a season for Metz. When he arrived you could see the fella knew where the back of the goal was.

Then take a look at Zaza. He averaged 8-10 goals a season so it was pretty damn obvious he’d struggle in the Prem and he did.

You’d think we’d learn. Yet again the stats haven’t been looked at because now we are linked to Niang.

You thought Zaza stats were back? Check out Niang! This fella averages 5 goals a season! What exactly is WHU expecting from this poor excuse of a striker? Let’s hope it isn’t goals…

Milan supporters are clubbing together to get him chauffeured to Milan airport and made sure he gets on that fight out…

Payet: Pressure from the French dressing room

Things haven’t been normal since he came back from the Euro’s. Like why did he come back so late? He wasn’t the only one in the Euro’s and all came back on time for training in the PL except for Payet who mysteriously went missing and just appeared out of nowhere weeks later. 

Bilic and club quiet over the matter because hey its Payet! But this is how I reckon it’s all gone tits up. He goes to the Euro’s and the team get together for their home competition full of stars. 

No sooner has Dimitri put his training back down and the piss taking begins…

‘West who?’ comes a comment from across the changing room.

After their first game Payet is a hero! He sleeps with a big grin on his face thinking ‘everyone now knows my name!’

Arrives for training the next day and so it begins… 

‘What the fuck are you doing at West Ham?’

‘you have to leave them’

‘Come to my team Dimitri, we’re in Europe. You ain’t getting any younger’

‘You can double your money with us’

He would have had to deal with this the whole competition from his team mates. So much so he’s convinced himself ‘they are right, I’m better then WHU’

He then starts to plan his exit. Best way to angle a move he thinks? Play shit and act like a moody wanker.

Club see this so offer him a new contract with more money. This is where Dimitri now levels up to cunt status.

He says nothing. Takes the pay rise but yep still plays shit and acts like a moody wanker, hey if you’re going to move at least move with an even bigger bulging wallet.

Look people. Players come and go, official lines that he isn’t for sale are bullshit we just need to get as much money as we can for him and let him fuck off.

More important at the moment are new targets and survival.

Being sold a glamorous lie

We have to move they said, we have to grow as a club they said, once we move we’ll become the new Arsenal they said.

The irony in fact will be an half empty stadium by December with relegation looming over us.

Oh Sullivan what have you done…

Google translated zaza deal

More complicated than the Carrick deal..

Wow from the horses mouth!

This is actually massive because the manager has admitted what most of us have been saying for years that you can’t rely on Andy Carroll.

This will now spell the end of Andy’s disappointing and financially disastrous spell at our club.

The only question is when? Im guessing any reasonable offer that comes in will now see him go….

Tim Vickery v David Sullivan 

So DS thinks Calleri is going to be one of our top strikers and S American football expert thinks he’ll struggle in the Prem and Enner is a better player.

Is this Sullivan dressing a turd or has Tim got it wrong for once?

This is going to be interesting… ūüėā 

Nordtveit v Obiang 

We haven’t seen much if either tbh. But rumour is Obiang going to be sold off and Nordtveit will officially be his replacement. 

Thing is I actually rate Obiang and at times I’m convinced he should have came on for games last season.

Ok we haven’t seen much of the Viking yet but first signs weren’t very encouraging. 

Obiang or Nordtveit? 

I feel for Antonio 

But I seriously think it’s time to go for his own good.

After a night of sleeping on it I’ve come to this conclusion… 

Last season Antonio had a blinder, almost made HOTY and cries for a place in the England squad, but Bilic had other ideas.

He wanted to upgrade the wing so got Feghouli. But how do you drop Antonio? Well he thought he could convert him into a RWB. 

It isn’t working and not only that the fella is wasted there when clearly he can score goals.

So what now? He won’t become a winger anymore unless we are decimated with injuries (which looks like happening) otherwise this talent will just become a bench warmer.

For his own good Antonio will need to be sold because he’s being totally wasted at our club now.

I mean seriously did Bilic seriously think kebab boy Tore was even more important in that role then Antonio!?!? 

Bank on our midfield.. 

Last season we scored 65 goals. If you do the Maths we’ll probably break even…

Fenghouli: at least 5

Payet: 5 – 10

Kouyate: 5-10

Ayew: 10-15

Noble: up to 5

Carroll: 10-15 if he stays fit

Add goals from the rest of the team we’ll be there are there abouts. Thing is the top striker will improve our league position so as long as the board are happy with a top 10 then no probs but they don’t want to be saying ‘yeah we are now looking to improve’ because that ain’t gonna happen.

Thing that worries me is our defence. Couple of injuries we’re fucked…

Thank fakka the Bacca soap opera is over

This is my take on the saga and this comes from Italy. 

Bacca deal was done (so wage rumour was bollocks) basically Sakho not going to WBA pulled the plug on the whole deal it’s as simple as that, nothing more nothing less. 

Knowing Sullivan he probably used that moment to strike a lower wage deal and Bacca told them to fuck off. We move on… 

P.s. Stop bitching about it (is what the missus says when I’m hounding her for sex and she says no….)